It’s pretty windy out here.. They say this weather is gloomy, but I say it’s completely inspiring.. The sky is as beautiful as always & endlessly soothing.. The clouds are floating so quickly, making it hard for me to shape them my way.. The sun is mastering the scene with its lovely warmth &dancing rays.. The sea looks “light” from where I’m sitting.. Yeah, light.. As in almost colorless.. Maybe ‘cuz that’s how these days taste like? Colorless?! Yeah, “tastes” “colorless”.. That’s how I am.. I see, taste, hear & touch all at once.. Yes, you can call me crazy, ‘cuz I am.. At least that’s what my folks think anyway..
What’s so interesting about being crazy is how you always view things.. To people like myself, things are never the same.. Each moment has its uniqueness.. But the problem occurs when this uniqueness comes in with a negative tone.. It kills me from the inside & lingers on for a while.. I messaged this radio station once telling them that when something disturbs me, I stay disturbed for a while, even if this thing slowly walks away.. Getting over things inside of me is a very hard task.. Positive, negative, whatever they may be.. Being crazy means you are always at your peak.. You’re always hitting the highest points of things..
However, I’ve constantly wondered about how does “normal” generally feels like.. How does it transcend (or does it at all?)? Transcending is such a beautiful difficult sense.. Gravity has always been strong over here; causing any transcendence to be a serious issue.. I wonder how we can ever fight gravity!
Now I carry two things in my head.. In my-soon-to-explode head.. Firstly, how I’m viewed in this beautiful blogging world.. My dearest calls me “the flower of the desert”.. Someone else linked me as “the very sara” & I’ve felt it so very much.. And just today, I was found to be “a nice blog”.. I stopped & wondered.. nice blog.. hmmmm.. this is me.. so im nice? Or my writing is? Or is it all together.. I never really want to be answered.. Just love exploring the different views & words that express them :) Secondly, how grateful I am to baba & mama.. what they’re doing is way too much.. I mean, WAY.. TOO.. MUCH.. I can’t help but think, I don’t deserve all this.. I really don’t.. Thank you.. I love you.. And I’m always yours.. forever :)
Oh & before I go, that radio guy never answered my question.. All I heard was bla bla bla & I messaged back saying it was a bla bla bla & you didn’t REALLY get me.. He never gave a damn..
Nobody does!
Let me rephrase it..
Nobody REALLY does!
What’s so interesting about being crazy is how you always view things.. To people like myself, things are never the same.. Each moment has its uniqueness.. But the problem occurs when this uniqueness comes in with a negative tone.. It kills me from the inside & lingers on for a while.. I messaged this radio station once telling them that when something disturbs me, I stay disturbed for a while, even if this thing slowly walks away.. Getting over things inside of me is a very hard task.. Positive, negative, whatever they may be.. Being crazy means you are always at your peak.. You’re always hitting the highest points of things..
However, I’ve constantly wondered about how does “normal” generally feels like.. How does it transcend (or does it at all?)? Transcending is such a beautiful difficult sense.. Gravity has always been strong over here; causing any transcendence to be a serious issue.. I wonder how we can ever fight gravity!
Now I carry two things in my head.. In my-soon-to-explode head.. Firstly, how I’m viewed in this beautiful blogging world.. My dearest calls me “the flower of the desert”.. Someone else linked me as “the very sara” & I’ve felt it so very much.. And just today, I was found to be “a nice blog”.. I stopped & wondered.. nice blog.. hmmmm.. this is me.. so im nice? Or my writing is? Or is it all together.. I never really want to be answered.. Just love exploring the different views & words that express them :) Secondly, how grateful I am to baba & mama.. what they’re doing is way too much.. I mean, WAY.. TOO.. MUCH.. I can’t help but think, I don’t deserve all this.. I really don’t.. Thank you.. I love you.. And I’m always yours.. forever :)
Oh & before I go, that radio guy never answered my question.. All I heard was bla bla bla & I messaged back saying it was a bla bla bla & you didn’t REALLY get me.. He never gave a damn..
Nobody does!
Let me rephrase it..
Nobody REALLY does!
~~
“Crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely
“Crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wondering, what in the world did I do?”
~~
~ Norah Jones lyrics ~
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